The Power of Omoiyari in Everyday Life

As a recent visitor to Japan, there is so much positive to say about this diverse culture that it is difficult to address the world-wide problem of domestic abuse in this society that is now based mainly on Shinto and Buddhist beliefs of respect for family and ancestors, the importance of purity, living in harmony with nature, nonviolence, and the cessation of suffering.

But the history of this collection of islands has not always been so peaceful that comprises ancient feudal battles with Samurai warriors, not so docile Buddhist monks and the recent past of “comfort women.” “Comfort women” were tens of thousands captured women who were subjected to forced prostitution by the imperial Japanese Army from 1932-1945 with over 90% not surviving this servitude.

Beyond this sorrowful past history, this recent visit noted that cleanliness, politeness, and kindness were beyond reproach. Today in Japan, students do not take formal exams until they reach the fourth grade, which is around the age of ten. The first three years focus on character building and good manners with teachers prioritizing values over academics.

Though it was not evident from this recent visit, A Paris-based polling company, Ipsos, conducted a happiness survey, targeting 23,750 people in 30 countries.  “A recent international survey found that Japan was ranked twenty-seventy out of thirty countries for happiness.” (Survey Points to Happiness Deficit in Japan April 22, 2025, Nippon.com). “Japan ranked at the very bottom of the survey in terms of the percentage of respondents who agree with the statements ‘My current quality of life is good.’ And ‘I expect my overall quality of life to be much better in five years than it is now.’”

This hopelessness about the future is surprising but relatable to the latest data about domestic violence in Japan. Awareness of domestic violence has become a critical issue for the last fifteen years and reports are slowly on the rise. Japan’s family courts have increased every year since recording began in 2012. Recent 2024 data notes that one in four women have encountered partner abuse and one in five reported spousal abuse.

The problem in Japan is that most victims blame themselves. Many are unable to speak about their experiences because of the fear of being criticized as being “too different” or “standing out too much.” https://isshinternational.org/10364/features/breaking-the-silence/

To ignore this worldwide problem in this country would be a disservice to those who live there and have been subjected to domestic abuse.

With this reality, Gaman, the Japanese philosophy that even the seemingly unbearable burdens of the world, even domestic abuse, should be faced with patience and dignity is practiced.  As one of several philosophies, Gaman encourages taking care of oneself mentally and physically. This concept represents the idea of maintaining one’s dignity through difficult circumstances.

More people are now coming forward and are willing to seek help.  The Japanese government has acknowledged this problem. They provide financial support to several nonprofit organizations (NPO), to continue the message that services are available. From the U. S Embassy & Consultants in Japan “If your immediate safety is at risk, dial ‘11o’ or contact your local police department. In non-emergency situations, call the Tokyo English-speaking Police Line at 03-3501-0110.”

https://jp.usembassy.gov/services/resources-for-victims-of-domestic-violence/

The “Prevention of Spousal Violence and the Protection of Victims; DV Prevention Act” is a law that can protect citizens from domestic violence. This is also applicable to all foreigners living in Japan, regardless of their status of residence. Moreover, the law has provisions on protection orders, such as those “that prohibit the abuser from approaching their victims for a period of six months or vacating their house for two months.” The law was amended for the second time in 2007, where a few critical regulations were added. Article 204: “A person who causes another person to suffer injury is punished by imprisonment for not more than 15 years or a fine of not more than 500,00 yen” Article 208: “A person who commits an act of assault is punished by imprisonment for not more than two years, a fine of not more than ¥300,000 or detention.” Jan 8, 2025.

In this every evolving society, the citizens of Japan are eradicating misconceptions of domestic violence. With the understanding of the word, Kaizen, the Japanese word for continuous improvement, education and awareness are important. Kaizen philosophy makes clear that small, but continuous and positive changes can make big differences.

Among the organizations that will help victims of domestic violence are Resilience and Saya-Saya.

1.      Resilience  https://sites.google.com/view/nporesilience/top?authuser=0

Resilience, formed in 2003 and in November 2007 became a specified nonprofit organization. Resilience works to raise awareness on issues related to trauma caused by factors including domestic violence, abuse, moral harassment, bullying and power harassment, and disseminating information. Lectures, training programs, and workshops based on various themes including why domestic violence and abuse occur, the impact of violence, the road to healing, and how to engage in positive communication are given.

2.     Saya-Saya The name "Saya" is often associated with the element of sand, which is believed to symbolize constancy, resilience, and adaptability.  https://saya-saya.net/

Saya-Saya has developed concurrent psychoeducational programs aimed at women and children affected by domestic violence, with programs such as “Ring,” which supports mothers and children; “Sun,” which supports female victims and aims for self-reliance; and “Change” which trains young women in Japan to protect themselves,

The problem of domestic violence is now being addressed openly incorporating Omoiyari, the Japanese philosophy of selfless compassion, and understanding the experiences of others.  When one feels another person’s kindness and warm-hearted feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, that person’s Omoiyari is appreciated.  If everyone practiced Omoiyari, it would lead to greater success and better relationships for all involved. May Omoiyari be practiced all over the world.