How? Understanding Domestic Abuse - House of Helping Hands Non-Profit Blog

How can people be so heartless? How can people be so cruel? Easy to be hard. Easy to be cold. How can people have no feelings. How can they ignore their friends. Easy to be proud. Easy to say no.

From the 1960’s rock musical “Hair,” this iconic song, “Easy to be Hard” written by Gerome Ragni/James Rado/Galt MacDermot, tells the story of a woman whose lover is more interested in saving the world than saving the personal relationships in his family. The entire story of the song is not as applicable today, but these specific lyrics have a universal refrain for the challenging times we are suddenly now living. 

How can people be so heartless? How can people be so cruel? Easy to be proud. Easy to say no.

These select lyrics are a recognition of abuse and questions how one can be so cruel…and why. Now acknowledging that the acceptance of abuse in private, personal, public, and professional relationships has been normalized, how does this recent understanding not overwhelm us? From a reactive view to a proactive understanding, self-awareness will be a key component for healing and surviving.

For one who has been abused in any way, private and personal relationships will evolve as life choices are examined and healthy boundaries are established. Forgiveness of one’s own past unhealthy choices are key to this newfound knowledge. Resilience comes with continued awareness of the necessity for self-care. Maintaining these healthy boundaries in all areas of life is paramount.  This awareness produces confidence, empowerment, and independence.

Many in the public and professional sector are condoning abuse and normalizing this vile treatment of others. Choices need to be made consciously. From a focus of well-being, abuse cannot be allowed or perpetrated. Relationships will change as those who ignore their own contribution to perpetuating abuse and decide not to heal will leave one’s life.  A positive though realistic approach to life will support the ongoing healing process. With this new awareness, others on the same path of perception will appear.

Through this continuing progression, the focus is self-care. Peace on a private, personal level can be achieved and maintained in the public, professional sphere. Though life is chaotic, fulfillment can be accomplished with anticipation of life affirming present and future events.

These original lyrics from “Easy to Be Hard” had an opposite meaning when first presented and were sung as a lament. Now these lyrics are words of empowerment.

Easy to say no…To Lies, Easy to say no…To Threats, It's easy, It's easy, Easy to say no, no, no…

To any Form of Abuse, It's easy, it's easy, it's easy, it's easy